Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Such is my life

Okay. So I might have been MIA for the past two weeks. I don't have much to say for that, except do note that I am making last week's blog post before this week's meeting. I think that means I'm not late yet. As for the blog from the week prior to last...well, yes. That one's just not going to be in existence.

I had been a little worried that my blog posts were going to center too much around my life instead of the happenings at the actual meeting because of how crazy my schedule has been and how little time I've been able to spend at Stitch 'n' Bitch. However, at last week's meeting the two of those became the same thing, so...there's that.

A big realization I had at last week's meeting: There are really simple solutions to my problems. Problems that, mind you, are causing me a rather unhealthy amount of stress.

The first problem I managed to acknowledge, not without a little struggle, was my texting issue. My name is Jordan and I'm addicted to texting. I check my phone so often it looks like I have a nervous tick. I so wish I was kidding about that. I've always known that it significantly decreases my ability to be productive and I've tried to have a strict no texting policy while I do homework. But that doesn't work because I feel detached from the world.
Stitch 'n' Bitch Solution: the Do Not Disturb mode on the iPhone. It's this nifty feature that silences all your notifications while it's engaged. You can set it to allow calls from certain people and such. But the idea was that I'd work for 50 minutes, with the mode engaged, not checking my phone, and then I get a 10 minute break to do whatever I want, which could potentially (and usually does) include texting. I worked on this a bit last week, but I am going to start using it more religiously because it helped a whole lot.

I complained about a few of my classes. And by "a few" I mean "all". Our professor friend Mary's (I just called her by her first name. I feel weird about this. But that's allowed, right? Right?!) advice here was to use my time better. If I'm not getting anything out of a particular class, then use it to sleep if I need to. Just...brilliant.

My dad has also told me to concentrate my biggest efforts on a few classes and just get by in the others. That's hard for the perfectionist in me, but that's a thought. And one of my friends called me up the other night (I think it was last night...) and just said "You're trying to do too much. You can't do everything." I get defiant when things like that are said, but he's right. I can't expect to be 100% invested in everything. I mean, by definition, that's impossible--there's only 1 of me. I have to split myself up. I don't know that there is anything I can (or would tolerate) giving up right now, but I can at least be more realistic of my own expectations for myself.

Also, I am going to go utilize the counseling services here and figure out ways to deal with my stress better. Otherwise I literally won't make it through the semester after another morning like this one. I had an anxiety attack in the middle of one of my classes. I was unbelievably restless, in a dead panic, and felt like I was going to burst into tears if anyone so much as touched me. Not again. Can't handle it.

And I'm going to start concentrating more on me. This girl is single (for the first time ever in college, mind you) and, by golly, everything is going to be about me for once. I don't have to think about anyone but me and I'm going to fully embrace that from here on out. Woo! So ready!

So I've got a plan of action for my assignments this week and hopefully I can make it to break without another bout of anxiety. Just 3 more days this week and 3 next week.

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